Friday, April 3, 2009

Grey

I just got back from meeting my boss and am not feeling encouraged nor motivated. Although it is sunny sky out there, I feel it's gloomy inside.
I'm planning to go for a regional conference in Kelantan this coming May. A conference that I really look forward to, that I think is very related to my research work and I've paid the registration fee, the air tickets, submitted my abstract and now just waiting to go and present my work. Once I stepped into boss's office, he asked me to take a seat and told me that he got a bad news for me. He told me that I might not be able to go for the conference to present my work. (Which also means I'm not able to claim my money back too!) Not that he didn't allow but because I need to get approval from the funding body that funds my project and it's unlikely that they will say yes. ShXt! I'm getting really tired of this funding body. There have been many many many issues since we started our project with them. Terminating funding earlier than it supposed to, these and thats. I feel that I'm a victim of all these. What wrong did I do? (Am I being too optimistic hoping for a better future with our new Prime Minister while listening to radio broadcast this morning?)
Now, what are the options that I have?
1. Wait for their decision to allow me to go and present my work. If it turns out to be that, it would be good. Which I doubt so, I may need a miracle for this to happen.
2. Go anyway. Since I've paid all the necessary fees and there's no refund. Why waste all the money that I spent? Yet, I'll have to pay on my own for the accommodation and food. In other words, I'm going self-funded as an OBSERVANT (cause I'm not allowed to present anything on my work as it is funded by them!).
3. Waste the money that I paid so far and not going. Then I can take part in the Wesak Caroling of my temple.
4. Curse and swear those stupid idiots who make my research life "challenging" (@miserable).
Well, I think I'm left with options 2 and 3. I'm not wasting my time and energy on those idiots.
It's time to go for lunch. (The sun still shines...)

3 comments:

yk@eunice said...

I'm quite surprise to hear about that. I didn't know that we can't publish the paper if we self-sponsored :( i thought we can always do that! Is it possible for you to negotiate with your supervisor again? If you tell me you will pay on your own, what you want is just to present your work! I really hope you can go and present your paper.

Nana said...

dear, understandable...
Since you pay everything already then just go. Dun waste the money.

When is the conference? If you still have time, tell Dr Ed that you wish to present the paper. Be brave to speak out!!

lulu_ma said...

It's not that I dont want nor my boss dont allow me to present the paper,but becoz the work is funded by them and I need to get approval from them in order to go and present. But that afternoon I talked to my boss again, and maybe things might turn out not so bad cause we have not tried. Actually there's a student from another group under same project got rejected, so my boss scared we might face it too. Anyway, he's trying his best to help. Let's hope if I don't get $$, I can still present my work if I have to pay on my own $$. So, just keep my finger crossed.

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