How I got myself into research

Lately the undergrads are rushing for their experiment results because they have to submit their project report final draft end of this month. Those that are still not getting anything 'presentable' start to look 'tense'. It reminds me of my old days when I was doing my honours project in UTM. I still remembered how the stupid bacteria that I isolated just won't grow in liquid medium no matter what I did. My parents even sent me soil samples all the way from Kuching, friends giving me their bacteria (from their projects) to try on etc. I thought it was the end of everything that time. No result no data = F. It turned out to be things was not as bad as I thought. I was given a B. (or was it a B-?) I couldn't remember for sure. But the grade seems not as important now that I understand better what research is like.

But the funny part is that I still find it unbelievable how I landed myself into my current situation. It was actually not what I've planned initially. Things just work out by its own. After my SPM, I chose (or been chosen) to pursue my first degree in Industrial Biology. I never like physics, so all those engineering related courses were not in my consideration. I was never so ambitious to become a medical doctor etc because I prefer a less 'tension' working environment. I did apply for education but surprisingly it was not given to me (during my time, if one apply for education, it's almost a >80% certainty to get it). So I ended up being a first year biology student.

During my undergrad time, I never really like molecular biology or genetic engineering subject. I can't remember all those protocols and hardly understand those principles or concepts. Who would think that I would end up with molecular biology research in my master years? (Interest can be cultivated as long as you don't 'hate' something too much that you are not willing to give yourself another chance of seeing it from the other angle. But of course, one have to understand one's own ability too because having the 'interest' alone can't get you there.) Yes, my master years were not easy as well (when has research been easy anyway?) I remembered my favourite song being 'Miracle' when I needed the motivation to carry on. I even told myself 'That's it! After I finish my master, I'll never want to have anything to do with research!' And again, I landed myself in this permanent head damage process which is ongoing.

Now that I looked back, I think the reason why I manage to come this far (further than I've imagined) is because I have always enjoyed learning. But most importantly I'm doing it for myself, not for the sake of money, glamour or social expectations. It is something that I want, which I believe I'm capable of doing. There are hard times (yes, go read my long list of blog entries on this) and I believe there are more to come (hey, of course since we are talking about 'research', man!) but I have faith I'll reach the other side of the rainbow one day.

p/s: I'm dedicating this especially to Horsey, who is at the junction of her life.